Lucky in Oz

Working Part-time

The ESP (Equally Shared Parenting) blog has a good post up about part-time & flexible work trends in The Netherlands ... and at Microsoft!

In fact, one in three Dutch fathers now works either part-time or full-time at four days per week so that he can be home at least one day per week with his kids. The percent of part-time women in the workforce is still far greater (75%), but this is actually helping the cause - as formerly male-dominated fields are being increasingly populated by women and forcing the change in thinking about part-time work.

The Dutch government is a help in these changes, rather than a hindrance. The government awarded its own "Modern Man Prize" for breaking gender stereotypes; the winner was chosen for co-founding a campaign that promotes part-time work for men - and for working four days a week himself. And interestingly, the Netherlands is the only country in which women actually work less than men, even after you add up hours spent on childcare and housework!

And our own Microsoft is right in the mix, at least when it comes to telecommuting flexibility. Featured in the article, Microsoft Netherlands boasts that ninety-five percent of its employees work from home at least one day a week; a full quarter do so four out of five days. "Each team has a "physical minimum;" some meet twice a week in the office, others once a quarter. Online communication and conference calls save time, fuel and paper waste. The company says it has cut its carbon footprint by 900 tons this year."

Note that I have been working part-time from when I went back to work after Z was born. I was 1/2 time for the entire rest of my career at Premera (except for a few weeks here and there for Kaizen events, which was fine because I LOVED those). I was 3-days per week at the lean consultant I worked for here in Melb. Now I am up to 4-days (30 hours) / week at World Vision Australia (full-time in Aus is 37.5 hours or 5 X 7.5 hours). One reason I love working at WVA is it seems that a majority of the organisation works either part-time or some days from home. Some do a 50 / 52 or 48 / 52 arrangement to be home with their kids during term breaks (this is when you take extra weeks unpaid leave, but spread your pay out so you get paid a steady rate year-round. Full-time workers in Aus get 4 weeks paid leave (plus a bunch of public holidays) - so a 48/52 means you get 8 weeks off per year).

FWIW (a LOT, IMO) L has worked from home some part of the week since Z was born, too. (These days we have almost a "reverse traditional" set-up, with me, The Wife, being the out-of-the-home worker and he, The Husband, being the stay-at-home parent ... sometimes to his chagrin, but I sure like it!)

Jet setter

As I mentioned in my last post (within the last month! is this a trend towards more frequent posting? time will tell … stay tuned … ) Z and L were in Morocco with Mame for school holidays. Z is 7.5 and Morocco was her 9th country … 10th if you count the Vatican. (Airports would add 6 more, but we don’t count airports.)

1. USA
2. Mexico
3. Canada
4. Italy
5. (Vatican)
6. South Africa
7. Lesotho
8. France
9. Australia
10. Morocco

(Airports, FWIW = London, Amsterdam, Auckland, Singapore, Dubai & Kuala Lumpur)

I reckon I could probably post a picture of her in each of those places … I’m fairly certain all those trips are up on Shutterfly. (I downloaded the pictures L took in Morocco and will upload them ASAP.) But that’s a project for another day.

My other baby, the furry one, has been in 3 countries (he was born in Canada).

The big baby has been in so many countries I think maybe even he has lost track … although he is pretty smug (dare I say competitive) about his ever growing list, so he probably has a record.

Swimming!

The preps (prep being the grade Kid is in – equivalent to Kindergarten in the States) have been going to swimming lessons 2-3 days per week at this amazing super cool fun pool. There is only one class of preps at our school – and only 20 of them – so excursions (field trips) are not quite as exhausting as at her school in Seattle, where the three K classes (and sometimes the first graders, too) would be packed into big yellow school busses. (Not that it stopped me; I went on nearly all the field trips. I'm a glutton for punishment.) On Monday, I accompanied the preps, their teacher Helen and a couple other “mums” (I still refer to myself as “mom” but it is sounding weirder every day) as we boarded a plush, air-conditioned shuttle-type bus. We got to the pool and of course the mums immediately made a beeline to help the kiddos as they started to change into their bathers (swim suits). "No. Stop. Step away from the children. They can do it themselves. Have a seat. Who wants a coffee?" That would be Helen. She runs a tight ship. It is her firm belief they the children need to get undressed and into their suits by themselves. After each student had made a neat pile of his or her clothing – towel on top, shoes underneath – they went to sit on the bench and wait for the lesson to begin. So, we mums sipped lattes while we watched the theatre (theatre, centre, cheque, colour, organize … see how I’m assimilating?!) that is 20 five- and six-year-olds get naked and pull on goggles and bathing suits. (Australians are so much less prudish. The area they were changing in was a bit out of the way, but nonetheless totally in public there next to the pool. There would have been issues with people walking by taking photos or something (they’re laid back, but not stupid) but the whole scene was so much easier than it would have been if we had to send the boys & girls into their respective locker rooms.) Then, the fun began. Since this was the last lesson of the term (they’ll come back as grade one students in term one next year) it was a play day – they went on the water slide (most went down with the instructor), in the wave pool and in the teaching pool with noodles and rafts. Kid’s swimming skills and her confidence in the water have improved by a gazillion percent. I was amazed. She was diving under water and swimming along like a fish halfway across the pool. Her swimming on top of the water needs some work – she’s still flailing as she tries to coordinate arms and breathing and kicking – but she goes for it and makes decent progress. The best part was to see how much fun she was having. She was never one of those water-phobic kids, but she wasn’t a huge fan of swimming lessons at the Y either. Being with friends in a warm pool where she can touch the bottom seems to have made all the difference. Her hierarchy of favourite activities at school lately has been:

1. Swimming

2. Drama class

3. The mice

4. Lunch recess

5. Morning recess

6. “All the other stuff.”

And now I really believe it – she loves swimming lessons! (BTW, I think the hierarchy will likely change … a chick incubator just arrived in their classroom.) Here are some shots:

 

  ... having just emerged from that gigantic water slide, which she went down with that hottie swim teacher.

 

  ... having just swum (is that right? looks wrong.) 1/2 way across the pool.

 

 

 

Sorry they are so grainy; they are from my phone. Remember? Guy has the camera with him on his business trip to the Middle East ... where he also took a dip (in the Dead Sea):

  Being an international water engineering technical expert looks like hard work, doesn't it?

Clever Kid, BOXES, Guy going Native, Hope ...

On Sunday we were running errands down around Warrigal Road (I know this means nothing to my readers (all eight of you). It's your basic commercial / retail strip.) We went to pick up some warm weather items from the big uniform outlet and we went to Bunnings, which is Home Depot with an Aussie accent. I remembered that the USA Foodstore was in the vicinity and I explained to Zoe just what it is. "You mean Seattle food? Like Wheat Thins and regular Cheerios and stuff?" Exactly. (FYI, they have Cheerios here, but they are multi-grain, which I like fine … but Kid and Guy? They are traditionalists.) So, we found it and ... it was closed. Poor kid, she was so close to Hershey's syrup, she could almost taste it. (She has lamented a few times, "Why does everyone but me like Milo?" Milo is a standard after-school snack. No playdate is complete without a glass of Milo and a Tim Tam. Except at our house. We don’t like Milo.) We agreed that we would go back – and we'll probably do so after school someday soon. But my point was …

We were at Safeway tonight in the cookie biscuit aisle and out of left field she asks me, “At the USA Foodstore? Do you pay in American or Australian money?” Excellent question, isn’t it?! I was impressed. I told her Australian and she thought it strange … until I pointed out that at the Asian Grocery we don’t pay in Japanese money. Then it all made sense.

If I had my camera handy I would post some photos for you of the current chaos that is my house. BOXES! PACKING PAPER! MORE BOXES! Lawrence is going to come home (When? Maybe ten days? I never really pay attention to his return date when he goes on his junkets business trips.) and I’ll be DONE and he’ll have no idea how MANY BOXES THERE WERE. Because alas, he has the camera. See:

Ok. Truth: I have been Skypeing him and walking round the house with my webcam on my computer saying "see! See all the BOXES?! SEE?!?!" So, I’ll not go down quietly. I feel like since I am not working (for money) that I should shut up and be a ahem, homemaker … but I can’t not (intentional double negative there) complain a bit about it.

Another photo I could post if I had a camera would be that of the Obama yard sign in my front garden (Here we say garden instead of yard. Doesn’t it sound more pretty & prosaic?). I guess it was in the shed when the packers moved through because I found it when I went to look for bike helmets. You’ll just have to imagine it. I personally am giddy imagining IT ... even all the way down here.

If Kid is 5, we must be 6 ...

The Blue Angels have been roaring overhead, the weather is perfect and our neighborhood is full of NASCAR types hauling coolers down to the lake to watch the hydros - must be SeaFair! Must be our anniversary! I've written before about our wedding weekend / why we got married at such a noisy time of summer. Our actual anniversary day was yesterday - we went to Cameron's SeaFair party and had a lovely time. We didn't go out last night - Guy just got home from Japan on Friday and we weren't certain he would be vertical come dinnertime yesterday. But he seems to be fairly coherent today so we made reservations here. Quite looking forward to it!

Photo from the Archives - 7/02

As long as we're wandering around the "July 2002" block of Memory Lane:

We've always said that she got her sleeping-at-night ability from me and her napping talent from him. This must have been the first tutorial. We're big believers in experiental learning.

I could easily do it ten more times!

Five years! Guy and I have been married for five years! Maybe that doesn't sound that long to you all that married college sweethearts or whatever. But man! That flew by! I see some of you calculating: "Hmmm, married five years, Kid just turned four ..." Indeed. She was an, um ... she was a surprise. We weren't not trying. Remind me to tell the story of finding out I was pregnant sometime - it is a good one. Guy and I did our major milestones in eleven-month increments: met October '99, got engaged September '00, got married August '01, had Kid July '02. The following June we held our collective breath. Phew! Nothing!

I see you calculating again (really, you should stop, go relax with a drink for god sakes) - as the hydros roar by and you are still coaxing babies and pets through post-traumatic-Blue-Angles-syndrome ... Yes. We got married SeaFair weekend. And actually, it was great. Our wedding was probably 2/3 out-of-towners making a vacation of it from the east coast. So we really put on the full summer-in-Seattle show for them. We had a BBQ at our house on Thursday; our rehearsal dinner was in the Chinese Room in the Smith Tower; we got married in Volunteer Park and had the reception at the Asian Art Museum; the day after the wedding friends in Madrona hosted a brunch in their backyard, overlooking the lake and the Cascades. And yes, the Blue Angles performed. It was all good. And it remains so. We’ve got a really good, solid marriage. It is generally easy and almost always fun. As I said last night, “May your biggest complaint be that I leave my coffee cups upstairs.” (Really, I should be more conscientous about the cups … since it is Guy that brings the coffee up to me every morning. See? Didn’t I say it’s good?! Aren’t I lucky?!)

Photo from the Archives - 9/04

We had just a few days prior removed the side of the crib thus converting it to a "toddler bed." I went in to kiss her good-night as I headed to bed - hours after putting her to sleep. It looked like a crime scene.

Notice the collection of "B-butzies" - her yellow silky security blankets. I bought a bunch when it became evident that she was attached to the one I got her as an infant. As the months wore on she became wise to the fact that there was more than one B-butzie and she demanded more and more. Like a crack addict. A two-foot-tall adorable little crack addict - needing her lovey fix. "B-butzie" you ask? Don't. It is complicated. Well, ok. It started as "Butz" - if you must know. It evolved to Ze-Butz thanks to Guy - he read some article about trans-gendered folks needing new pronouns. I think the politically correct pronoun for a TG person is "Ze" - I say this completely without irony, I assure you. Anyway. Somehow Guy assumed Butz was indeed not non-gender-specific, but rather trans-gender; and so assigned the appropriate pronoun. Kid changed it from Ze to Be. And so, B-butzie. She still occasionally needs a B-butzie fix - like when she has an owie. But she almost never falls out of bed anymore.

My Husband, My Child?

After reading the post "The domestic glass ceiling" and the comments on Half Changed World today it occurs to me that a lot of the strategies that people - "experts" and lay folks alike - recommend for getting your spouse to do more housework basically require you to treat him like a child. The running commentary that Bitch suggests does sound like a passive-aggressive rant you might direct at a teenager. And the advice from Kai Jones' therapist sounds a lot like that given by this guy (I saw him on Oprah one day. Or Dr Phil? Anyway, one of those shows that I normally only catch while on the elliptical at the Y.) He said that if hubby leaves his stuff lying around, you should pack it up and put it on the curb with the trash. I've done that with Kid's toys and books that she refused to pick up. Actually, I didn't put them out as trash ... just hid them for a few weeks until she missed them then reminded her why they were missing. Anyway, my point (finally getting to one) is that maybe we resort to treating them like kids because they never did learn this stuff as kids. They grew up in homes where mom and daughters did housework and dads mowed the lawn and fixed stuff. How's that for a theory? We're the moms, parenting them in retrospect, undoing the gender stereotyping from thirty years ago ...

For the record: Guy and I have a very fair arrangement - he has always done a lot. And now lately he seems to better understand why my mantra is that it is easier to pick up as you go than to let everything become a disaster and try to recover. Perhaps it is because we have a house cleaner every two weeks and if the place gets too cluttered it means a whole evening of picking up before she comes. Plus, I think he gets it that Kid needs to see both of us cleaning up - to set an example as well as to not promote the old gender roles.