Yikes! Just read Ayelet Waldman’s Mind your own kids - “Sanctimonious parents, who preach "breast is best" and tell you that sleep training is cruel and unusual punishment, should keep their ideology to themselves.”
Hope her inbox is fireproof. I must say, living as we do in a city rife with AP types my reaction to the piece was “Right on, sister!” When Kid was a few weeks old, I had her in the stroller at Farmer’s Market and I got the nastiest look from a mom with a similar age babe in a sling. We didn’t exchange words but her disdain for me – pushing along my sleeping bundle in a plastic contraption – was palpable. She did that looking back and forth between Kid and me thing with a puckered “something smells icky” look on her face. That was my first real taste of the competition among mamas. (There is an entirely other post lurking in the background here, to wit “is there really competition among mamas or is it the media” a la Miriam Peskowitz. I agree with Peskowitz in that this is mostly a shades-of-gray issue, but I personally have for sure perceived tension among moms regarding parenting choices.) I don’t run into it a lot (maybe I ignore it?) but it is out there. And I do have to agree with Waldman that I most often encounter it coming from the earth-mama-hippie-freak types that instead of pleading “why can’t we all just loves each other” are chanting “friends don’t let friends buy Bjorns” and lamenting the ignorance of those of us who immunize our kids.
It is notable how geography plays a role in all this. Here in our idyllic bubble in the northwest corner of ‘Merica you have to be pretty far out to identify as an Attachment Parent. I delivered sans epidural with a doula in attendance, own three of Dr. Sears’ books, nursed Kid until she dumped me at around two & made my own baby food - but I don’t qualify. Said delivery was also attended by an OB and was in a hospital, I also own the Weissbluth book, Kid drank my milk from bottles as well as straight from the tap and we used M&Ms to potty train. (I own as many slings as strollers – so I am calling that a break even.) On the other hand, I have a friend that lives in a less progressive city and the fact that she nursed passed six months got her labeled AP. I love living where we do in such a liberal place (indeed, am lucky!) but I do bristle at the comments, loaded glances and just general attitude of the oft-encountered holier-than-this-mama Sears cult members.
(On rereading this prior to posting it sounds harsh. But no one reads my blog (yet) and I guess I needed to get this off my chest. So, I am posting. Here goes.)
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